Nejlepší vtipy anglicky
I open a newspaper - Brezhnev. I open radio - Brezhnev. I open TV - Brezhnev. I am afraid to open the toilet.
I open a newspaper - Brezhnev. I open radio - Brezhnev. I open TV - Brezhnev. I am afraid to open the toilet.
"What comes after the Bronze Age and the Iron Age?" "The Heavy Metal Age, Sir!"
Fuck is easy, fuck is funny, many people fuck for money. If you think that fuck is funny, fuck yourself and save your money.
Teacher: "What happened to your homework?" Jerry: "I made it into a paper plane, and somebody hijacked it!"
Teacher: "Can you tell me about the Dead Sea?" Johnny: "I didn`t even know it was ill."
In the USA, they have: Bill Clinton, Stevie Wonder, Bob Hope, Johny Cash. In Slovakia, they have: Vladimir Meciar, no wonder, no hope, no cash.
A Japanese came to Tatry and speaks with the Baca, about the martialarts. So baca asks: - Show me something, Japanese. OK, there is a swoosh, boom, and Baca falls on the ground. He opens his one eye, and asks: - Co to belo ? - Ka-ra-te. - Show me something else, Japanese. OK, there is a pull, a swoosh, a shout, boom, boom, and Baca lies on the grass. He opens one eye, and asks: - co to belo ? - Ju-ji-tsu. - Japanese - now I will show you something, OK ? OK, there is a swoosh, a thud, boom, the Japanese on the ground, telephone, signal, ambulance, hospital, insurance, second floor. On the next day, the Japanese opens one eye, and asks: - Co to belo? And Baca says: - Se-ke-ra!
"I don`t want you using those bad words any more." "But, Mother, Shakespeare uses them." "Well, don`t play with him again."
"Are you coming out to play?" "No, I`ve got to help Dad with my homework."
A man was driving his car along the road in the countryside, when suddently a cock ran in fron of his car. Unfortunately he couldn`t stop in time and he ran over the cock. The man stopped his car and walked to the farmhouse nearby. "I`m terribly sorry," said the man. "But I`ve just killed your cock. I realise he must be very important to you so I`d like to replace him." "Thanks for your offer," said the farmer, "but I think I will go and buy another cock."